ruzaini roslan

that RAYA post hehhe

2009-09-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

after 1 mth of fasting in the mth if ramadhan, the mth of syawal is finally here..
this year raye is a bit different. dearest nenek accept my dads offer to celebrate raye with us this year round.. so firts day did'nt go out the whole day..sambut tetamu/entertain guest.. so a bit relax lah quite fun alos get to meet all the cousin from my dad side .. the guys most of us in NS now so confirm topic of the day was all abt ARMY and comparing coys...
morning ask from forgiveness from dad, mum , nenek, and my sisters
then receive guests frommy dad side and then after that once it is all done LEPAK!!! hahaha
second day was with my MUM side lah hehe uber fun lah get to meet all of them and we celebrate my niece birthday, Sophia Lim she turns 10 this year.. ok still youung but hey i wish her all the best in life coz its not easy or tough haha
went to oe of my couzins place and he got PS3 and the whole set of guitar hero world tour..
all jump to the chance to play guitar hero even my dad... he is supe good in playing the drums lah .. shall ask my dad to sponsor part of the cost to gte myself the PS3 and the whole guitar hereo set since he can also play in the weekends lah hehe...rock on DAD.. hehe
and the rest of the days was filled with more more laughters... and not to forget our routine jumpshots at a particular makciks house lah only there we will do our jump shots haha
ok photos are available at my FB lah heh lazy to upload...

to all the muslims in the world in particular my friends and relatives
SELEMAT HARI RAYE MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN
IF I HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG PLEASE FORGIVE ME OK...
cheerios!!!

dead and gone

2009-09-05T10:59:00.001-07:00

the ramadhan is here and i m not making progress to be a gd musslim this year
ok lets just put that a side do not want to talk abt it again and again

well the resaon why i decided to write this post because something happen
well herre is the timeline
1300 meet with ridhwan friend about this particular business opportunity
1400 meet mitchell and joel (bmt mates)
1430 the meeting ended supposed to end at 1330 to 1345
1500 finally meet up with mitch and joel (1 hour late)
1800 meet BMC mates for iftar
1900 break fast time zone, just finish my meet up with BMT mates due to an hour late earlier
2000 finally reach simpang bedok so i was 1 hr late to buke with them
2100 meet helmi at geylang to find baju kurung
2200 just reach geylang from the meet up with BMC mates
yeah so i was late for every meet ups i made with my 3 grp of frens
poor time management and yeah as a result people have to wait for me
and its always they wait for me not the other way round

Helmi have to wait for me for like more an hour or so alone at geylang while waiting for maddie to tag along. the plan is to meet up with helmi first walk arnd to wait for madhiah to reach geylang with her parents. but plans with ruz will nvr go as plan so yeah i admit it i screwed up!! trying to squeeze this beautiful saturday to meet up with 4 different group of people that i rarely meet and as a result people have to suffer.

To all my friends especially Helmi,Mitchell, Joel, Haadi, Syafiq, Farid, Hilmi sorry for making u guys wait for me. i guess i m not that a good fren huh making people wait only. i guess i m trying to hard to accomadate to everyone. i learn a very important lesson and its not abt coming on time i learn that already 2 years back. its abt making gd judgement and good managment of time
Good Judgement:
i was hesitant to leave Mitch and Joel have way thru our meet up even though i know i will be late for the iftar i still decide to catch a movie with them at 5. IDK i was like erm i dun want to leave coz its been months since we meet and its very rare since everyoone schedule is fucked up and when we meet its only a few hrs..
then the meet ups with BMC peeps.. well same thing happen i decided to stay awhile longer and helmi have to wait so yeah everything snowballed and i was in shits coz of my poor judgement and making decission..
i dont blame anyone for what happen and i am cool that those affected are angry with me they have every right to feel that way
SORRY GUYS!!!

"next time don't do it again ok Ruz..." ruzaini pathetically trying to make himself feel a bit better pathetic much huh..

jealous yet happy?

2009-08-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

i am jealous yet happy?

what kind of feeling is that? what kind of person am i? am i so confused or what huh?

i don't know somehow i feel these way ,jealous about someone or something but then i feel happy for them for being able to achieve that(whatever i m jealous of).

well i m a very jelaous person, if ppl read in my super old entries, i will always want what others get. Awesome grades, fantastic life, bestest friends, privelleges at their fingertips and many more.

so i decided to type down what i feel deep inside.

yes the truth that has been hiding in me i m VERY JEALOUS of my Friends!!

there i have said it.. BUT... at the same time i am very happy for in whatever i m jealous abt

i guess i m those kind of person who is very hungry aye.. i will never be satisfied with what i have and will always want to be the same or on par with them arh..

is that good or bad eh? being competitive and all but is that kind of attitude even appropriate at all times? but then again when i question myself why i was never better or same as them and i found the reason why. i did not go all out to achieve that something arh. things that my friends are working on.. i procrastinate, i am timid i did not dare to take chances, make decissions that takes forever, always on the safe side and not on the road less travelled by,not garang enough...

and the reason why i am happy is because i saw in their every faces the joy of acheiving what they fight for, i realise that hey if i dun get it at least my freinds do and i at least know what it feels like to be what they are and what i am not that makes me happy. their joy and thus even if i am jealous there is no hatred but rather a drive for me to go all out and work hard to achieve better things in the future...

ruz you can do it

after 1 year and i am back

2009-08-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

well it has been 1 year and a lot has happen to me lately

FIRSTLY A LEVEL IS SO OVER LAH HAHA

so happy can heheh and i already gotten back my results it is not fantastic but it is gd enough for me to be accepted to my dream course NURSING at NUS and i will be studying there in 2011 cant wait this bring me to the second point...

SECONDLY I AM OFFICIALLY SERVING THE COUNTRY!!!

i cant say much but it has been a pleasure serving the country for 8 months now. while some may say that it is a total waste of time but actually it is not.. it is the period for you to discover one's ability,talent,character, strength and weakness. i must say i was one of them who thinks that it is a waste of time but after going through it i realise how important for a Singaporean to defend it's own LAND... though i was dissapointed not selected for further leadership trg SISPEC/OCS it was my fault not trg hard enuf but then i m glad of my vocation now.

THIRDLY, IT IS THE RAMADHAN MONTH ONCE AGAIN..more post on that when it actaully starts lah eh..

FOURTHLY, MY EMOTIONS

lets just say this past few weeks or past few days i had a lot of reflectus moments.

1. i realise i find happiness in people that i treasure most my loved ones, my friends.

i am very happy when my friends are happy. happy that they finally find someone they love and their love return back to them. happy that they get what they want, happy that they finally get into UNI, happy that they are just happy, happy that they find peace in their life , happy that they have someone to talk to...

ohyah that reminds me.. HELMI AND MADHIAH congrats on getting together happy that u guys are happy together..and to my first SIS who finally got married to her loving HUSBAND. this i m superly happy about... happily married after 7 years of getting to know each other..

2. i wonder if i can give that same level of happiness to them? surely i think i have but then.. i doubt that i can give so much happiness to that someone special in the future. will i be like those lovey dovey couple ..whispering sweet nothings on way back home.. with conversations that make the other party feel the warmth the presence of another someone talking and listening to you that makes you feel so belong to someone...

3. i have been a neglecting on my religion.well lets just say i havent been a good boy and yeah i guess i got drifted away from reality of who am i and my commitment to my religion. so immersed in the material world that i forgot that i have a higher being to pay my respect to to serve him(Allah) it is about time that i stay rooted to the ground and pay more attention to him

4.i have been going out a lot and yeah i miss spending time with my family

5.i realise that i m not ready to be in a relationship lets just say not in another 2 or 3 years time

i still need to find and understand myself before i can understand someone else so that i can give what i noted in point 1 ad 2....

its has been a lovely year and i hope it will stay that way...

oh yah FAHMI is flying off to BRUNEI for 1 year i will miss him a lot

LIM JING FENG is flying there too also but god knows when

TAN SZE HERNG is flying off to thailand today

SHAUN my sec sch bestie is also flying there to serve the country i will miss them a lot
as for me i will still be here serving the nation though i hope that will be given the oppurtunity to better serve my country...

song of the day, merindu kepastian by art fazil

the fasting month

2008-08-31T08:06:00.000-07:00

i am grateful that i am still alive to witness again the month of Ramadan also known as the fasting month. this is the month where all the Muslims in the world fast for a whole month.
.the whole idea of this month is to let us be aware of the suffering others face especially those in poverty hit countries and also to show how grateful we are that we are blessed with all the necessities that we have. this month also is the month all about sacrificing. as Muslims, we must a sacrifice our time to do additional prayer such as the tarawih prayers. sacrifice the food that we can eat in daytime. sacrifice our sexual pleasures.
this year i hope that i can be a good Muslim by doing all the things that i should do as a Muslim during the fasting month which means minimal swearing, less eating, less procrastinating in term of prayers time, do more charity be nice to people and not to forget paying a very close attention to my studies. yes studies even that is counted as being a good Muslim.

As usual, as the month of Ramadan approaches, i can feel the freshness in the air, the enlightenment, the willpower to do good, to study and to perform my prayers with more concentration.
hopefully god will give me the strength for me to perform whatever HE(god) ask me to and concentrate on my studies..

prelims OVER and A levels next

2008-08-30T22:56:00.000-07:00

yeah finally prelims are over and it sucks coz it is obvious that i did very very bad for prelims no matter how hard i slog it out for my prelims
ok i think i deserve the grades coz the amount of energy and effort to prepare for prelims is like hmm 60% to 75%..
but still at least a pass..
haha but yeah lots of things happen during my prelims which contributes to the grades lah
this is not an excuse peeps
no 1 its distraction all over the place no2 i have anxiety attack for most of the papers ok
i see my maths paper and physics paper i got stressed up and in the end aku kelam kabut ah buat paper so end up i do stupid mistake very stupid ah i tell you so when going through the damn paper it is HEARTACHE everywhere ergh
and yeah ruzzy is a damn emotional person and he is full of jealousy
so when he sees his friends getting better grades than him, he feel so bitter coz he always wants to be on the same par as them if not better but in this case it is not happening..
so much for kicking asses in the end i got my own ass kicked hard
and Wednesday was a very depressing day for me why? i got back two major papers that i took and both is a damn U lah so got depressed and end up binching on FOOD!!
it feels good but yeah it sucks when your friends are doing much better than you

so i have to work hard from now on and no more blogging
so i will write what happens in my life in my favourite blue OBS note book which has become my life journal
goodbye my blog for now i will miss you lols!!

anxiety attack!!!

2008-08-20T03:24:00.000-07:00

god i m suffering from anxiety attack from like what yesterday
i cant sleep early to prep for my paper the next day as a result i was a bit tired to do my math paper today and that result in a shitty performance seriously that paper was do-able but i m under superbly stress condition when i was doing the math paper
even before the paper my heart cant stop beating furiously fast
it is funny coz the first week of prelims i was calm and i manage to do most of the first week papers maybe an exception for maths paper1..
yes math has become a huge barrier to boost my confidence
even my dad says if u dun have the confidence to do the paper there is no way u can get a good grades
with that i become more stress!!!!! i cant find that spot in my soul where it is all calm and quiet and at peace
my soul is having a war now!! it is a toatal chaos in me!! ERGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
during srtessful papers my mind will always wonder i will keep asking myself if my friend will be able to do the paper well and yeah that pushes me on to solve the qns but i m not at a calm mode so it is not that helpful either
why!!! i m feeling so nervous!! tomorrow is physics paper2 and i hope i can bring it!!
i know that i have to do well
ergh RUZ!!! stop it just calm urself down and do ur best!! like what u have always said just give in ur 110 percent and at the end of the day it is up to the judges to fail you or pass you u know u have put in ur very best to study and really understand the concepts dun have to worry what happen later just do the god damn paper with a calm soul will you!!

goodbye

2008-08-02T06:06:00.000-07:00

it is time a bid goodbye to my blog
since i only have 10 more freaking days to my prelim exams
well maybe i dont have to depart from it for good
because blogging is a stress reliever mechanism
so if u see a new blog post after today that mean i m stressed up from mugging!!
well i hope to get all C grades for prelims no matter what so yeah C grade here i come
i need to kick lots of asses for prelims lah
there is a number of people i want to kick their ass
here are the list of people and the subjects that i have to kick ass!!
General Paper - Haziq Jani
Biology - Jun Xiang
Malay Lit - the class girls
Physics- Helmi Sani/ Fahmi
Mathematics - Fahmi, Chen Li
maybe i should bid goodbye to my friends too..erm maybe not because i still need them!!

my wish

2008-08-02T05:45:00.000-07:00

i wish

for a world which coexist

in its complexity and simplicity

a world where life is as easy as it seems

i wish

for world peace

where aggression doesnt exist

everyone live in harmony

sharing fruits of success

i wish

for a world where the 7 sins

are absent

for greed overule us

i wish

that you do not exist

life will be simpler

i can stop thinking about you

every minute second hour day week month year

i wish

that i never have to know you

knowing you

makes my life harder

i cant decide what to do

in the midst of all this

i realise

complexity is simplicity

the complex can be simple as it seems

simple things can be complex

technology may seem to make it simple

it only makes things complicated

ship all the wealthy

to an island for they can exist

and let us live in peace

only then we can prosper

and live in a pace where

we can enjoy life as it is

i am a sinner

2008-07-28T05:09:00.000-07:00

well yeah that is what i thought about myself i am a sinner
of all the sins that i have committed comittinng this sin is a big one and yeah hell awaits me in my after life
ok maybe i am exagerating but yeah if i manage to go back to the correct path then i can wait to be in heaven and enjoy peace!!

well besides that schools has been a real toughy!!
ergh!! why is it so difficult y cant it be easy huh?
well no one said it is going to be easy... and u choose to take this path so u gotta earn it and burn it
burn it? erm i m burning it i have been trying my very best to do a pretty decent work?
hello are you sure u are giving ur best? but the result is not showing my dear...
yeah i m sure lah.. ok maybe not really burining but at least i am trying right
well point taken but you can do much much better.. i have read ur scripts and i dare say it is like a 13 year old work... the only distinct thing between you and a 13 year old maybe u have more content or level of maturity but besides that is is just a crap essay full of grammar mistakes
well... u dun have to be that harsh lah i know my command of english is not fantastic and i m trying to be better
well then u should try harder do something about it come on you have only less than 3 mths before this major exam you are sitting for right?
yeaps true then i shall do something about it then..
yeah u should my dear coz the rate i m seeing you do things don't even bother looking forward to apply to a local university and i m serious so GOOD LUCK!!
ergh.....is so irritating so much for helping me to do better... your last comment is so not needed right now..
yeah no one said it is going to be easy
especially imrpoving ur grades.. ok maybe maths and physics it is possible but for gp a language subjects at this rate i m going i aint sure if i can
besides academics, it so hard to forget someone or what is inside you and what is happening to you
everything is so difficult this days...

"i" on the world

2008-07-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

ok for the first time ever people i m going to blog on sunday morning before having my breakfast and goiing out for my religious class
this means that i woke up pretty early as compared to all the sundays that is due to the fact that i slept from 7 pm yesterday till 7 am today wohoo 12 hours of sleep!!

anyway back to the topic "i" on the world.
well i went for this seminar organised by the mendaki organisation about venturing out of our comfort zone which is singapore to other parts of the wolrd and claiming our place in the world
as qouted by Mr Izwan in his opening speech,"modern technology together with globlisation equals to opportunity"
well i agreeto his statement that indeed with the aid of modern technology and globlisation there is a lot of opportunity for people like us to grab those oppurtunity and in turn reach to excellence
prior to the talk, we have small group discussions whihic opens my eyes about the wotld that we live in today and encourage me to excel in my studies as well as change the world that we live in
for instance, besides my pursuing my academics, i would love to contribute back to the society using my passion, my interest and my knowledge
well if all my plans goes well and i graduated from nus with degree in nursing, one way is to do my job wellas a trained nurse. Another way is to use my other passion which is fashion. i would love to organise charity fashion shows where proceeds to the sale of the apparel from the showcase will go to various organisations whihic needs the money to help these needy people
the series of fashion shows will be called "Fashion for a Cause" with the interconnected world, contacts from various organisations as well as individuals is crucial to make the charity event a success. well these may sound like a very ambitious project but by writing it down here on my blog will rmeinf me of the purpose of my life in this world and even if i can achieve it now i will know that someday when i make it big in the world this is what i have to do by looking back at my blog entries

well that's it for now... hope that oneday my "Fashion for a Cause" fashion shows will become a reality...

TUESDAY 8 of July 2008

2008-07-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

well i decided to blog first before i go and eat and start doing my werk and then study!!
yes study that is the most crucial thing that is happening in my life and i have mentioned abt it countless of times in thihs blog and to my friends
one mysteries of life is that how studies are so important in our life that sometimes we tend to forget to play around and take notice of our emotions and passions
well passion is definitely needed in our studies and yeah i have those passion but emotions that is too overwhleming for me now
today got back my bio results for block and i m not shock that i fail badly in the test
the reason being that i only study one day before the paper that was a mistake that i shall not repeat again
well bio happens before physics and bio just sets the mood for physics today
due to the underperforming results i feel really depressed and dissapointed and at the same time i feel very intimidated by my friends
especially helmi and fahmi and faiz and yas yeah my physics buddies somhow my concepts are just very weak among them lah
that really shows just now during lessons i feel so dumb and useless whenever my friends or even teachers ask me the simplest and obvious concepts in physics coz i just basically cant answer them with confidence unless i know the answer already
having friends who second guess my answer not helping my confidence at all i know i m asking for too much but at least tell me that i m wrong and point out the mistakes
whenever i sit beside those top scorers i feel happy coz i can learn from them but somehow deep inside me i fell so inferior that whenever i ask them again to reconfirm the concepts and understand it better somehow i feel that their souls are screaming out to me and says
" Damn you how many times i have to repeat myselfs!! STUPID FCUK (S.F)!! how slow and dumb can you be huh??"
well thats how i feel sometimes and the inferior soul in me just grew that now i feel so embarrassed and stupid and scared to actually ask my friends whenever i have doubts
i will only ask those "chim" questions but as a matter of fact i m having doubts with my basics
ergh ruzaini now have to step up the game and get his basics right!!
well that was what i was feeling throughout the lessons and my anxiety overwhelms my ablity to control my speech and actions
i shout i laugh and i even cry deep inside with all those concepts torturing me deep inside whenever i fail to recall the concepts form my brain
i keep saying "damn it" and "ergh" and "ohhh" and "i should have done that" during the lessons out loud

well now i know where i am weak and i certainly hope that my inferior part of my soul will have to change and start clearing the doubts!!

i end conversations

2008-07-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

well at first don't feel like blogging but after hearing the song "Selepas Kau Pergi" by Laluna thanx to helmi's blog gosh made me so emo-moey and i have to blog to let it out

well the song is not about anything that i m gonna write about but it just makes me emo for now at 1.30 am lah
well friday got back physics paper it's a dissapoinment i should say lah well its kinda expected but at least near to pass lah well this just goes to show that i m still weak. to be frank it hurts to know that i am nowhere close from my friends marks lah especially Helmi and Fahmi why are they so damn good in physics huh? and y am i not as good as them
i know the answer but it still hurts i don't want to repeat a yr in college without them by my side my dearest friends i would rather we all graduate and go NS the UNI at the same time
i know now that i have to work doubly hard butit is near impossible for me to give up totally this wonderful computer, tv and life
but for my future sake i will just HAVE to do it no matter what
my teacher once said we have to choose either 4 months of pure hell/ hardship or years and years of regrets and misery
well i choose 4 mths lah
RUZ PLEASE DO YOUR WORK FROM NOW ON AND PLEASE DON"T EMO COZ THAT WILL JUST SLOW YOU DOWN
oh yah its official that ruz always ends the conversation with his stupid comments lah and he cant continue jokes for nuts
well besides that everything is ok exept for something that is uberly personal to me...

the only constant is change/ friends

2008-06-29T02:06:00.000-07:00

well before i start with the post this post is gonnna be abt two things that make me ponder today
thats a lot of things that going on on my mind for a guy like me haha well here goes

the first part of the post

" the only constant is change"

well the statement above to me it's a parodox how can something that changes be the only constant thing in the world . well the truth hurts and yeah it is true that the only constant here in this world is change

people change everytime fashion changes line of jobs changes as time pass by what may be the coolest job now but down the road 10 years time it is just a plain "jane" job well the reason i decide to write about this is that it came up to me during my religious class

religious class have been very insightful for me for last semester and it is still the same this semester goodie for me anyway...

well from what my religious teacher said people can change for the better or for the worst

most of us prefer the latter and i do choose to be better

and when we change to be better we cant change straight away.. things have to be done slowly. the truth is presenting a bad image to ur frens has been a norm in our society and when we change drastically to be better people may think that we are crazy or trying to act a "goody two shoes"

so lesson learnt from the class is that people should change for the better but we have to do it slow we cant change for who we are just in a split second such thing takes time aand it may take a few months or years but we have to persevere!! so people persevere

and another lesson is that when ur frens change drastically different from who they are when we first know them we should at least give him or her the chance to introduce to us their "newself" and try to accept them

well as for me this what i m going to do to change myself for the better and that is to do it slowly and not drastuically

first i will try my very best to pray to god every sinlg time that i have to

second start revising at least 3 hours a day that does not include doing homework

third be nice to my friend but still i will have to be a bitch ahha

lastly use more nice words than crude words

ok now for the second part of the post

"friends"

watched the final episode of friends just now it really touches my heart i know that that happen long time ago season 10 the last season of friends

well watching what they have gone through i have came to realise how much i treasure my realtionships with all my friends

my friends have been the ones close to me helping me in life solve my life mysteries and problems

watching friends also made me realise that how much my character matches(aprroximately) joey's character

joey is such a wonderful guy but from my evaluation he seems like the guy who talks no sense to his friends just like me and he will just listen to his friends conversation and never talk unless he knows what the conversation is really about just like me

and he also have great friends like Chandler,Ross,Rachel,Phoebe and Monica

like i do.. i have Helmi, Faiz,Haziq, Syafiqah, Madhiah, Yasmin,Diy, Shikeen and many more ahaha

well the highlighted ones have helped me so much in my jc life and secondary life

well i dunnoe how to categorise them into the characters in Friends well let me try ok

syafiqah= rachel(the hot one and sweet)

helmi= chandler/monica(sometime he is chandler(making crappy jokes) sometimes he is like monica(when he is being a neat freak))

madhiah= phoebe(plain wacky)

haziq= ross( the one with the weird profession and "geeky")

faiz= joey??

well at the end of the day these few people are really the best friends i could ever have

i really hope that we will still keep in touch once we go on our seperate ways and will always meet up every now and then u guys are the best and i will never forget you guys at all

i love you guys so much and i will miss those time ah..

THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME ALL THIS TIME I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!

beach day out

2008-06-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

saturday 28 of June

decided to go out with mcs peeps to sentosa to have fun and at the same time chill

well we start of bad with me and a few of my frens who are with me. we came late and delayed everything anw went to get the drinks for those peeps out there and we end up shopping ther at VIVOMART

well then we have to wait for a few more people i really feel sorry for mega coz he have to rush of soon so sorry k..

next time i wont be late

anw whent there and settle down at the palawan beach its the usual spot but its kinda boring should have listen to sery and kinn's suggestion go to siloso beach and we sit near Cafe Del Mar where they blast songs to the beach where ppl can listen and chill at the same time

well we went there eventually and the place is super fun arh

there is music people the beach and food

at the end of the day i realise that yeah i have managed to achive my aganda for the day

to go to the beach and unwind and chill and just relax with my frens..despite the hecticness

anw i hope that ican go there with just a few of my close frens and then we can really unwind and chill after A's that is so yeah.. today was a blast

thanks to...

ruzaini sery helmi shikinn aishah huda maya mega areiff anwar farhan haziyah and syahrul...and the BEACH!!

to be fair i will just post this pic didn't manage to snap photos of all of us in my camera ..

blocked

2008-06-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

well today 26 june 2008 mark the end of block test 3 and i did pretty bad for this time like seriously paper is tough as hell
and mATHs is a killer the worst of the worst i ever wonder if i can pull through for my A's
well i cant doubt myself now coz all my confidence will go down and my evil twin brother will have his wish come true: me doing badly for A's
oh wells what has been done has been done i cant change the past but all i have to do now is to better my future..
going out with my class mates tomorrow after such a long time we havent been going out togther
well i keep wondering what are the tell tale signs og me being deeply in love..
i keep thinking what she is doing?
how is she?
will she ever gonna accept me?
her name will always be in my mine
keep thinking of her whenever and wherever
like during bio i cant get her voice her name out of my head
is that true love coming from me?
i wonder.............

the past came and haunt me..

2008-06-20T07:10:00.000-07:00

well as i was browsing through my old photos.. hmm not that old lah abt a few years back when i was sec 4 the year where i took my O levels and now i m soon sitting for my A levels i came to realise that time really flew pass really fast super fast its like only a year ago i leave my sec sch and embrace a whole new life. so its not that the past haunt me but its actually the future that haunts me really.. and you know why? well it is because that knowing what happens in the past will then make you realise that how time flies and now u have to worry of the future

looking through the old photos really bring back memories sweet and bitter i can now remember vividly what happen during our breaking fast outing at Geylang with Jiamin and Wei Gen and other malay peeps. we played the paiseh game while walking at the bazaar the nvr ending outing and we camwhore like nobody business

now sitting for the A levels things have change frens have change but I have not change at all the dire need to go out on weekends with my friends is so hard rite now unlike during the O levels time i guess now ppl have matured and the know that A levels is really impt well i noe it too but cant we just go out like on random weekends and chill and SHOP maybe not too often but at least go out k

topsy turvy me

2008-05-29T06:02:00.000-07:00

well its been such a long time since i update so here goes ..

well step down from being a rodney house exco and its fun cause the house excos 2007 can really camwhore especially nat!! ahhaha thanx guys for the wonderful memories on that day here are some pics for an example hehe

so yah thats us lah..

haha anw i came to realise that whenever i blog, its when my heart is feeling topsy turvy and i cant find something to do which is constructive

anw... slept in the evening just now and surprisingly i dreamt of the people that i m super close with lah well its helmi and haziq wierd ah coz in the dream they mention to me how they are going to miss the people they met at Pre-u sem i was like oh ok...

then i woke up and i realise how stupid i am coz i might be in the same boat as them but i just blew my chance away by saying that i might not cope with studies and pre-u sem during the selection interview "stoopid Ruzaini" hah... i always underestimate my abilities and this is what i get in return this god damn feeling of sheer guilt that i could have been there erghh...

well i tell this to madhiah and this is what she said,

why can't we just look the other way?(madhiah) says:
aww man
why can't we just look the other way? says:
u must have missed them
why can't we just look the other way? says:
hahaha
why can't we just look the other way? says:
yea well, as cliche as it may sound, its prolly a blessing in disguise

blessing in disguise?what blessing? do i really miss them? they have been gone for a week.. i guess i do miss them ahha

i MISS u guyslah......

oh yah i have to catch up on my studies but... i dun even have the drive to do it.. god please help me on this...

illusion, the bittersweet of reality

2008-04-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

its been long since i am here
when i m here all i ever talk abt is what is happening in my god damn life
whenever somethin happen to me and it affects me, i will then blog abt it here in my very own corner
well the bittersweet of reality
it changes my way of thinking a lot
all thnx to the NJC drama production yesterday
it makes me realise what is life all about in the perspective of islam
all this while i have been chasing after the wealth that we can get here in the world and i totally neglect about the wealth that i can get in my after life
this makes me a sinner and everyone else in the world...
well i m not draging everyone else by saying that but as a human we can never run away from making mistakes
i was too busy living the life that i always wanted and i forgot about my duties as a fellow muslim
i guess it is time that i repent and try my very best to attain success in the world now and hereafter
i want to go to paradise once i m dead but at the rate that i am going well.. i foresee that hell is the place i will have to go thru first
i just don't know how am i supposed to blance it lah..
well from now on i will try my very best to focus on my studies and also on my duites as a muslim
too much freedom in my life till i neglect what i should be doing now

god

sorry for the sin i have made

by neglecting you

doubting you

i wish to repent

may you give me all the strength

to change myself

for the better

god

safe me from the hell fire

bring me to ur paradise

i cant stand the fire of hell

as strong as the sun

fashion forward

2008-03-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

taking a break now from mugging for blocks and the time now is 2 am... wow..i have never been studying till this late before..
anyways.. i deserve it
tv is super distracting and i have to catch the first episode of fashion forward...
so thats y i have to slog it out now in the wee hours... haiz..
well i bravo to mediacorp for having the fashion forward programme on tv in singapore...its almost the same as fashion police but hmm i guess it not that exciting as THE fashion police..
our version is less meaner and more to educationg the people about our fashion industry in singapore...
after watching...i find that...
singaporeans have a boring expression as compared to the americans..
the reason being that during the instant makeover section, the p[articipants and the fashion guru do not really make the section exciting as compared to fashion police... no offnce but the participnats expression is superbly BORING... and the reveal of the new "wardrobe" of the participant to their freinds is not that exciting either.. i wonder why? is it because we are already like that?hmm... i guess we have to learn on how we can really express ourselves.....

well thats all i really want to say...
back to mugging after i play ard wif the comp hee....

people hate me or love me

2008-03-08T23:06:00.000-08:00

its been quite a while since i ever lay ,my hands on updating my blog...its either i am too lazy to blog or i dun have the time...
my dad has been buggin me about my grades whether i can make it to uni...
everytime that qn pops up... i dun have a solid ans to him...
well that is a wkae up call for me that i have to work doubly hard...
i have to get to nus and to my course that i desire....
well apart from academics... my social life is not helping me either...often enough i will put myself in a situation, where the end result will just put me in deep trouble..
RUZ u have got to stop doing this ok...<>
well i apologise to whoever that i have offended... i juz dun realise what i have done wrong and at that moment and i would love to thank those who point out my mistake so that i will change my ways...
as the for the tiitle of my post this time i will eloborate more on this
why people hate me:

i am a bitch
i do things without realising i will hurt their feelings
i bitch abt ppl.. that link to point 1
i am loud
selfish

why peolple love me:

fun
outgoing
cheerful
lend my friend my listening ear
???

well that is what i think people think abt me..hee....

oklAH..gtg now..

have to chiong my essays...

someone

2008-02-16T04:09:00.001-08:00

hmm before i start.. i want to say Happy Valentine's Day to all my fren and love ones

and also happy friendship day..hee.....

ok anyways felll like just putting this up on my blog lah ahaha

well this past few weeks i have seen all the j1's kid grow inot the new system of living life in a college i must say that they are a bunch of people who are hardworking and also play very hard...

well gonna miss all my og9 peeps coz most of them are gonna eave yjc and that is uper sad coz they are the bust bunch of J1's i have ever met not to forget peole like.. hmmm wendy crystal jessica... erm oh yah and also nizam and shahrul(hope i spell it correctly) ahaha

well 1 thing to say about them is that they are a buch of lively people and they make me realise to treasure life as it is and aslo to be truthful to yourself

well even i dun even really know them that much if given the opportunity i want to!!

some make me realise that whatever happens you still have to be true to yourself and if u knew who u reallly are then... no one could either break u pr change u.. whatever comments they give just take it in ut stride and if its really rue change it and if not be firm and tell urself that that is who u are and people should accept that and have no rites to comment on that...

so thank you J1's for giving me the oppportunity to relive back my J1 memories and also make me realise about beeing honest to urslef...

this peeps i just got to know from sentosa trip(except HELMI!!)

a day to be remembered!!

all the best shahrul and nizam in ur new sch!!

x.o.x.o.......ruzzy

chinese new year 2008

2008-02-07T04:32:00.000-08:00

well today is the lunar new year for the chinese... didnt do much today just online watch movies online...
for dinner have to go to mac and get my dinner... coz mum never cook today..
mum and dad went to changi beach and i stupidly never follow so i was at home all alone and BORED

something to share to u peeps out there...
really glad that some families take this oppurtuniy to take their time off and visit relatives that they are unable to visit due to our hectic lifes chasing after wealth.. i was really glad that i saw chinese family gathering at their house to reunite after a long period of time..
like the malays we do visit each other during our hari raya to ask for forgiveness and to reunite..
so yah we are not different accept for the way we dress on our festive day...

well went bowling yesterday and today after what haziq told me i feel guilty not calling them up to go with us sorry guys.. next time i try not to forget ok..
haha... well went bowling for more info visit maddie's blog ok me lazy to type ahha and ziq's

cheerios

x.o.xo ruzzy

sad day? well life is too short for that

2008-01-26T08:02:00.000-08:00

well its been long since i have been here lah.. haha busy ok wif blocks and stuffs...

today 26 jan yjc had our cvd!! yay...

well it was tiring lah but it was worth it lah super fun..

the kompang boys have to do kompang for the opening ceremonylah...

ahaha and it was short and simple

then chaos!!haha we were like unprepared setting up our street soccer booth..

then the tournament i have to go around shouting to ppl we are having our tournament..

haiz..

it was all wort it.

faiz and his band perform today had more fun,...

than come the more fun thing i got dunked..
ahhaah thanx P14 for that wonderful dunking machine besdies me we have a few teachers got dunked and.... VP WONG.. yay had lots of fun....

well gonna miss these few ppl below... will miss u guys kkk...

OG9 the best og in yjc pae 2008

all the best jun yi in your future endeavours..

u will be missed

ergh!! i need to mugg...

2008-01-15T00:32:00.000-08:00

ahha exams are finally gonna end soon thank god...
maths was horrible
physics surprisingly its muc do-able than maths for the first time!!
its offcial!! gona go for SSSP haiz... blame it on myself also..
holidays was used to enjoy life before i meet hell!!
well hell is gona last for 1 year before i meet up with another 2 yrs of NS.. meybe looking forward to it.. coz it will help me loose lots of weights!!lol...
if there is hell's kitchen.. then there will be hell's school.. it is not literally hell it is just gonna tough for me catcthing up with my studies after being an ogl.. lagging behind..
well tomorrow ther is my fav bio paper but here i am blogging.. i need to de-stress..
ok then gtg and study for bio!!
wish me good luck...

a case of mistakan identity

2008-01-05T05:06:00.000-08:00

hey peeps..

well its a brand new year!! currently busy being an ogl for orientation 2008 we just had our jam and hop last friday damn it was good!!!

how i wish the party scene will come to our sch every last friday of the month...

where students will get to let their hair down and forget abt work for that 2 hours... its a form of stress reliever,..

then i will be proud to say that my college life is a wonderful experience

think of it as we get to study better party harder and live stronger !!lol

ok besides jam and hop we have house carnival which is a success

and a case of mistsaken identity happens ..

as i was walking to the track some one wave at me.. well i noe him through a fren but he didnt noe me lah coz i m just a noboy in sch...and he wave at me i was like are u waving at me and he said yah u.. then he ask me how abt the four songs? and i was thinking what four songs? then i realised he thought that i was haziq a close fren of mine who looks like me but i m just better looking than him thats all.. and coincidentally he came to the grandstand and i said to him .. oh u mean haziq? i m not haziq he is... and we laughed...

super paiseh lah..lol...

so yeah thats it a case of mistaken identity and that is not the first time lah...lol...

me on the left and haziq on the right.. so do we look the same?lol.. and my class matesat the back...

countingdown to 2008

2007-12-31T05:46:00.000-08:00

it will be hours away from 2008 as 1 faithfully type down what i have done in 2007. i decided to do this as i have to wait for episode 7 of greek to load... ok a lot of things has happen in 2007 i would like to categorise the events in the months that the event happens so here goes.....

JANUARY

i have never beleive myself to be able to qualify for first three mths my prelim scores only enable me to go to neighbourhood schs such as IJC or YJC or even SRJC.. i decided to choose yjc as it is very close to my place i never knew if i could survive in jc but yj has really open up my mind... thnx for that well what happen in jan is oriantation it is super fun haha lol read on my previous postings

FEBRUARY

got my O's results and it was a shocker no C's and D's for my grades its all A's and most of it B's lol.. so i was very happy and i qualify for jc... coz i got 14 points.. not bad for a 20 pointer during prelims. even though i was disappointed that i cant get to AJC or SAJC or NYJC i have made a correct deccision to stay in yjc... my dad wants me to go to AJC so i have dissapoint him lah and i feel bad abt it after all i am the only son in my family and he really wants me to do better in my studies.. being in jc is the correct path for me.. oh yah we also have CVD where we raised funds for our college

well i cant remmeber anymore what has been happening in february so i'll move on to march

MARCH

i think by this time i got my posting resluts and it is obvious i get to yjc coz the badly wants me in reason being i m talented and all rounder the qualities that an ivy students has.... LOL ok that is not the real reason simply becoz i cant get to NYJC and my second choice is yj and i dun regret it..well we have PAE orientation i became on ogl super fun i tell u haha

APRIL

the best month of the year as its my birth month!! well by now everybody noes each other in class and it is great to get to noe more ppl helps to broaden ur social circle. people rmemeber this date carefully ok 17 April coz its my birthday!! it was fun celebrating my birthday in the college . however being myself i am never staisfied with the celebrations hahai noe noe i m ungrateful but... i was ver happy that zah mala yas went out wif me to get free ice-creams from ben and jerry it was on my birthday that they gave free ice-creams!!! haha treat from me to all the ppl i guess lol... well i was very pleased to hang out wif them they are the cool peeps i noe in my class besides me madiah helmi and erm..... firgure it out urself peeps. i had family chalet this month to honour my birth and others. the chalet was AWESOME!! coz i get to spend the day with my cousins!!

MAY

nothing much happens besides pwing and studyinf and going for tutorials and lectures

JUNE

immersion trip was awesome get to meet more people from the sch and also from malaysia well before the trip i think i was being tooo emotional coz no one from my cirlce of frens pick me to be their buddy and i have to buddy up wif shahrool my pw mates it is not that i dislike him i felt disappointed and felt left out when my frens that i have knwon and become close with did not choose me i felt that i was like their second choice or something .. well but nvr mind then all i noe is i had lots and lots of fun back in negeri sembilan. after the trip we have to go for extra lessons and also it is block test which was terrible!!

JULY

nothing much happen

AUGUST

we have our 3 in 1 celebrations which is celbrating the college,track and field meet and national day of course. i have to step up as vice-cap nonsports to lead my house to various cheers that i could think off but it was fun indeed and an experince not to be forgotten. and RODNEY win as overall house champions for the second time... i hope we can bring it again next year!!

SEPTEMBER

the muslims starts fasting from ard mid sept to october from now onward people start to mugg fro promos whihc can cost our lifes!!

OCTOBER

the mth came with full of surprises!! people muggin and at the same time prepare for pw written report. it was a killer mth and we have to endure to promote to J2 then hari raye came and we celebrate it then came Promos...

NOVEMBER

early mth of november we quickly finish our promos and have to go to sch for weeks until the second last week of november. then came the promo results and it was a shocker!!

i pass my promos and get to go to j2 lucky me... was happy with the results i got but not very contented with it i coukd have done muc much better especially for my H2MLL

haiz and oh yah i sit for my pw oral presentation and H1 malay paper results will be out next year!!

during the hold i did nothing much but to stay at home and rot got to sch for countless mneetings went and spend all my raya money and spend an spend till i am penniless haiz.. i got my psp super happy

went out with my closest fren in aiss shaun to catch up on life he on the other hand has a much better life in SA then me in yj but who cares miss him and my sec sch fren a lot i wonder if we can meet up anytime soon miss u guys lah.. sec sch frens are still the best we went to fish & co for dinner spend a bomb there had seafood platter for 2 yum yum!!

DECEMBER

did the samething as november but the only extra thing i did was going for 134 chalet nad malay class chalets. chalet really open up my mind.. i didnt noe tha zah was super hot .. serious she was like a goddess haiz... now i noe that i had a hot fren... wohoo!! class chalets are the best only if everbody were to pay up early lol....

well on the very last day of 2007 went out with maddie to shop for my sch bag and i was quite glad that i finally found the piece that i love... and it was on sale... had the best last day of 2007 of my life i owe that to maddie.. i hoep to see u ppl soon in2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR

WELCOME 2008

x.o.x.oRuzzy

argh..its official!!! i have a boring life..gosh..

2007-09-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

well weekly update... now is september holidaes.. but let me remind myself.. it is not even a holiday lah... wat the...

have to go back to sch on 2 daes on this week... for pw and maths...

today is saturday for goodness sake ppl.... chilll out.. stop doing all ur work and take a rest and spend the day with ur frens... i u tell me u guys have gone out for this week to chill u guys are WRONG!!!... i dun think going out or chill after lesson is chilling it is just coincidental ok.. to go out after lesson

so we shoukd take this chance and chill b4 we cramp ourlifes for promos... after this week onward.. i m sure we will not be enjoying ourselves... all chioning fro promos...

well its true that most ppl sae.. chiong now and enjoy later.. hello.. ppl...

take a break before u guys got sick.. i mean litearly sick.. and also sick of doing work.. ahhaa...

so take care of urself ppl and take a break ond have fun on this saturday...

well wat the hell am i writing this for.. this saturday is almost gonna be over.. and there will not be anymore chill saturday after today..

aww.... tooo bad ppl it done... so dun be sorry ahha...

i want to get out of my house now!!! but no one to go out witg.. th devil in me is suffering hahahaha...

chios enjoy while u can...

ruzzy.. miss those peep in the photos... see u guys after PROMOS!!

2007-09-02T03:02:00.000-07:00

hmm ok since i have to try and be comitted to my blog for some reasons.... haha... i m going to blog like once a week i try ok.. haha...
well this week was a tough week lah .. wr making my grp crazy.. the day befroe we hand in our wr ,,, we stay up late and rush through our reports.. we stay up till like abt 3.30 in the morn.. lol.... CRAZY.... haha.. but the process of it .. fun carzy and worth it... well teachers dae was fun lah i guess... the chinks pang seh us by not going for our inter class games during pe.. wat the.... i noe i noe.. u guys have ur excuses.. but hello.... unreasonable.. so wwe end up playing all the games lah... aniwaes it was fun... ahahah too bad chinks u guys miss it... ahahhahah... the funny thing was the first ever match... nadiah was so hyper... hahaha.. havent even scored and she was like.."YEAH!!!!!"... funny lah. however felt guilty also..
i hit one of nadia's classmate straight on the forehead... i hope she wont get frissbee phobia... i m so sorry...
well then on sat. went to comex for the very first time in my life.. well seriously.. i m not that it junkie..so went there wif helmi and haziq just to gain experience.. overall comex was fun... then went to lau pasat to eat... intended to eat satay... but was expensive so nvr eat... haiz... but nvr mind.. haha...
then came the fun part... we stumbled across this street party organise by sony ericcson and sing tel called trafiic jam..... super fun lah... although nvr go in.. we stayed outside and listened to the bands performing.. and all other music genres... enjoyed my self lah.. ahha...hope to go to one of the events again.. haha... well thats it for this week i think.... haha....
next week sept hols.... whiich is a week to mug.. wohoo.... siao....
promos coming in less then 5 weeks ppl.. study hard but dun forget to chill and enjoy urselfs ok... wohoo!!!!

a brand new chapter

2007-08-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

hey there.. well its been mths since i step in..
so dusty......lol... ok lame yah thats me...
aniwaes ppl have been complaining that my blog is too emo and stuffss.. so
its gonna change... its onli the start but i can hear ppl cheering already.. wohoo... hmm ok
for the past few mths i m gone leaving this place all messy and ducty.. ihave been so busy wif sch werkkk...so this impies that i m not good at commitments..well so now i gonna chg that.. coz all the guys in the worl noes that gals want commitments from us so.. i have to train myself by being committed wif sch werk my blog and also frens... pheww...thats sound like alot..oh yah and not to forgget... myFAMILY...lol..ok thats enuf of me bein...hmm ME,,,,
well last fridae, 24 august 2007..when home late...stay back and do wat else..lepak arh..lol...and yah going back time manage to scare 1 gd fren .. FAr east... hahaha..still noes how ur face lookslike arh super shocked..lol..hhaa..and yah... tahst abt it besides that...from last week my friends and i deicided to do something wif our life and start our veru own alpha trainin... we need to lose thos fats of ours and get a whole new life arh.. so we decided to train on evry tues and thurs... and aalso..DIET... which is a prob for me.. can resist food temptation!!! lol... aniwaes i really do hope that i con lose all my fats maybe not all coz some really do serve a purpose in my life lol...
yeah so thats my journey..
and btw peeps....
5-6 MORE WEEKS TO PROMOS!!!
mug hard and play hard ppl....
WOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am i screwd?

2007-04-05T04:18:00.000-07:00

hmm ok so today thursday 5 of april hah..siiting down in front of my comp chatting as usual and hmm suddebly it juz came to me my life is screwd lah..
for alot of reason lah hah..
hmm like my relationship, ppl treating me badly and oh yah and not accepting me for whu i really am..
hmm ok life to me its like a very sad routine lah.. everyday go to sch and as usual study and have to prepare for myself from all the harsh words comming out from hmm ppls mouth about me and my character lah....
everyday without fail ;lah i think arh haha...
hmm well whu cares abt them lah i will live my life for whu i really am... screw them lah hah... now look whu is screwd now..
hahahahha..hmm ok thats all lah hah..
i feel so sad lah watever actions i do ppl will look and give funny comments and i will feel very self conscious lah and i feel paiseh and som ppl thing its super funny lah... hmm ok ppl if i make ur life irritating tell me ok... i will try my very best to not irritate u guys arh... ahha.. hmm ok thats abt it lah..
wohoo..... the sexys rox.. aniwaes that time at audi is super fun lah guys..

2007-04-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

life in yjc i super super fun arh...
hmm aniwaes haven been updating my blog arh ..
haix...
stoopid me..
i think its been 1 mth++ arh haven update arh..ahhahahaha
ok si=o now i will list out all th event that has happen to me ok.. not in order lah.. forget all the dates and such....
2nd intake orienatation, p30 outing, dinner with zak hajar helmi,buy a new shoe, hmm.... erm oh yah achievement day... chalet wif family.... life at yj which is very fun always... my sis engagement which happen last saturday 31 march..
super fun.... hmm i think thats abt it arh..
ahha....
hmm yah all thx to ij and helmi.. have to enter this 'sajak' competition.... hiaz...
thx alot guys.... hmm which me gd luck... and o yah... hmm achievement day was super duper fun... get to met my aiss frens arh and aslo get to met "her"..... super fun arh..
she juz lights up by nite on that day.. thx alo ok.... aniwaes... u look super nice and pretty and sweet too!!!!! gottago....

why why why???

2007-01-21T01:58:00.000-08:00

of hey hi feel like writing now so here goes....
feeling.. mye feeling have been topsy turvy eversince i can feel it beocming like these.. why is it happening to me? why? i cant bear this feeling animore it is hurting me... of all the pains that i have encountered this is the most painful one.. coz it can go away and come back juz like that.... so way is this pain haunting me why? i need ans to these ..hmm maybe there is no ans or i juz have to search deep in my heart why is this happening.. ths is not suppose to happen at all.... so why??? argh....this is so wrong..... hmm currently missing all my old frens...... miss u guys.... when can wee meet again????

orientation 2007 at YJC(updates)

2007-01-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

okok... i noe this is kind of late ok.... this happens like two weeks ago... HAHHAA busy argh.... hmm on the very first dae..as usual aians...will meet up at yj and we talk and talk....dunnoe wat to expact from yj... ok my class is like damne dead in the start onli my the crazy 1 talking to my fren and trying to create atmosphere...cant show my true self damn..
HAHAA ok lah then meet a few mor ppl ok.. HHAHHA and i meet rodney6 the best of the best subhouse and grp of new frens i have ever met.. we rox i noe!!!! ahhahaa even tough we r dead the first few daes.. our engine starts running during AMAZING RACE.. ahhaha juz to keep ppl moving thats all hmm and went to a place i think i dun even noe it exist... the animal resort.. wow...... hmm back to orientaion.. overall it rox thanx to my subhouse of course..wohoo.... ok we went to this scouts camp which is totally cool arh,, and the bond between us gets stringer and stornger...even though the will mos probably talk in chinese.. i m fine with it i still will have fun even if i feel left out arh.... and i hev my very own translater forget her name sorryy but i remember ur face ok... cant draw here arh..
HAHAHAA ....
ok then thats all and btw... we r still meeting each other in sch during breaks or afetr sch... we r so bonded... we even want our rodney 6 to be in the same class but that will not happen due to didd subjects combi....
lookin forward to out gatherin..."R6 THE GATHERING!!" ....
HAHAA{AAAHAHAHHAA

new timetable means true meaning of a jc life...

2007-01-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

hey ho....
ok to all m frens....my blog will be use as my blog and also for gp homework.... isnt that cool... HAHAAHA craps.....
ok to day 17 of jan got a brand new timetable... no more alot of free periods animore.... BOO!!!!! hahahha but i get to see the real life in jc... so damn pack arh...
i think its possible to have lessons all the way from morning till lunch..
looks like i can slim down after all..
HAHAHHAAok the best thing happen to me today is to see my new fren paiseh....
so funnni arh if u see her first conferm plus chop u will laugh lol...
and i get my very first gp lesson...wohoo!!! its like the intro of a very new beginnig... 1 thing for sure...gp is damn tough...must be a bookworm lor.... ahhaha ok if u read this mr heng sorry for the singlish usage here..ok... its not ur gp homeworl ok...
HAHA and btw peeps mr heng has really open my eyes to the world of gp WOW!!!! thanx alot.....p30 rox..... ahahaaha crap...

what should i do with my life???

2007-01-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

ok for a start to my new friend. hello there!!! ok this is so cool gp homework on blog. all credits go to MR HENG!! wohoo!!! ok so our topic for today is "what should i do with my life" thats a tough one. so i shall start now ok!!

when people ask you what you want to do in your life. you will then start wondering what i should do in my life. we will think what i have done and what should i do more in my life. what i want to do in my life is to get it as perfect as possible, help those who are in need and obtain a good degree in order to get a good job. our life is affected by evreryone around us. all the incident that happen around us will make us make a decission in your life.
for my very first action is to make my life perfect. different people have different perspective of being perfect. in my perspective a perfect life is whereby i can always smile and be happy even through hardships and gain control of my life . i personally believe that if we go through hardships with a positive attitude we can overcome it. to make my life perfect there is a lot of factors involve. such factors are education, jobs and helping others
in education, i have to plan out my education route wisely. since i have completed 'O' levels , now i have to choose two options poly or jc. both options will be able to lead me to the university. jc is the easiest route but they sae theres no short cuts in success. the reason is jc life is tough and very competitive. we have to compete in 'A' levels for your own spot in university .
while in poly, its a much more on a hands on education and only top 5 or 10 percent of your course will be able to earn a spot in university. in the end both choices are almost equally the same. what i have to do now is focus in my studies and really work hard and no more slacking.so now i have to spend about five to six more years studying to have a perfect life
after my education, i have to land my self a good deserving job where i can earned a few thousand dollars per month. a good job will be able to make my life easier as i will be able to earn money for myself and hopefully my own family. by having a good job i can also help others who are need if i have the extra money to help others. this leads me to one of the things i want to do in my life.
the next thing i want to do in my life is to help others.there is alot of times thats i came across who are born not as perfect as others. that makes me feel how lucky i am to be born normal like most of us. there is this incident where i met a person who is abnormal .i am not discriminating this person but by looking at the person i feel that i have to help him or her.it is not that they want to be born with difficulties .what i can do is try and serve the community which schools have given me that opportunity to give back to the community. there is more things that i want to do in my life. what i can do to give back to the community is that i can go down to one the children orphanage and help plan some activities for them with my friends or particpate in more fund raising programmes.

well 1 thing for sure that i am always in doubt of myself..when will i be the person i want to be? i m tired of being hu i am now

2006-09-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

<> HAHAX
wohooo....
hahax......
ok now having prelims but relieving my stress life....
hahax..
life is kind of hmm...bad?
well id un think so..
.its fun having frens hu cares and dun cares..
hahax...
well 1 thing for sure that life is great..
and it dun suck at all...
hahax..
learn that from my fren....
kind of cool to have a fren hu cares..
even ur nick can triggers the caring side of a fren and ask wats happening..
thx alot yah..
hmm just chg my perception of him being very mean.....
hahax..
thx a lot HELMI......
hahax..
i must be crazy..
hahax...
ok gtg now byes.....
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

U have fly ME to the MOON

2006-07-16T01:17:00.000-07:00

u have made fall in love wif you so deeply....
i love u so much...
on the night u made fall in love u much more...
all i can think of is you....
but i will never noe wat u feel abt me....
oh pls be true to me.....
i love u
i love u i love u...
but when am i gonne tell u..
oh my love....
i may sound sick but this is wat i m feeling now..
i just cant help it..
seeing u that night made me fall in love with u much more deeper in my heart...
u r so so so sweet that night and hearing ur beautiful pieces have made me deeply in love...
u have just feel my hearts wif song...
i love you.....
i cant stop saeing i love you..
am i in love?????
I LOVE YOU>>>>>

the dae.......

2006-07-13T18:18:00.000-07:00

hey7 hello.
there....
its been a long time since i m here....
miss my blog so much....
welll o levels r jus ard the corner....
i mean in a few mths time watever i have learnt will be judged...
wat ever it is i will do my very best....
well i would like to go to bio med sch at SP and i aslo would love to go to NAFA...
major in fahion design....
i love designning stuffs and its like my past time thing...
now i have like my own collection of design... just waiting to be sewn by myself after o level... After o i want to work with louis vuitton... burberry....gucci...and lot more of high end fashion boutique..
well i guess tru this work i can have more knowle'dge on fashion and get to satisfy my very needs...well i reallly hope that i can get the jhob...
but just dunnoe where to start looking....
haix.....
well thats all for todae...
BTW...
JUBILANT was the best concert i have evr gone to yesterdae....
gd job guys......

missing camp and chalets and stuffs

2006-06-24T05:38:00.000-07:00

hey there..
so how life...
it is so fast that 1 mth just fly past wohoo....

missing camp and chalets.....

2006-06-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

A resort of paradise turn to be a big great Tragedy

2006-06-15T00:25:00.000-07:00

yohoo.
just return from a chalet which turns out to be not relaxing after all...
we have a treasure in the early morning of 13 june..
so i miss the match italy vs ghana...
hmm..
the treasure hunt is so tiring man...
wohoo.....
but now i just miss the chalet...
a lot of thingd happen during our stay...
we play double and we have to kiss ceratain ppl..
hmm...
we really put effort ANd think wisely when theres a big situation...
ontop off all...
we really bond together...
even those who hardly noe each other like this sec 3 girl who hardly noe a grp of sec 4 boys and they blend in together..
those who r enemies r noe buddies...
thx..
to all who make this a wonderful stay ...
and out in effort to make it work especially....
AUNTY ALICE...
thx you very much...
we love u AUNTY ALICE>>>>>
there r pic...
which i will upload tomorrow or when i get back my camera....
chows.....
meet u guys later....

why must u still call by the name u noe i hate most(i think)

2006-06-06T05:26:00.000-07:00

hey its been long that i come in here..
so exams has been grade and now talentime is ard the corner..
u noe wat sumthing happen to be yesterdae adn i feel quite down ..
in tha middle of havnig fun some1 just said FAT PIG to me and i was like wat the F!!!
u r not in conversation aniwaes..
and i think u noe i hate beiang called names..
so..
watever man.....
i thought u were a fren..
best fren..
and u did this to me..
watever man.....
ok gtgg see u guys later..
or next time..

2006-05-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

yox....
its been so long ..
hmm. just got my results...
and it is damn lousy..
hmm thursdae went out to the beach with ny frens...
damn it was fun...
hahax..
1 more week to MT O'level..
woohoo......

2006-05-16T02:05:00.000-07:00

hey hi there..
once again..
i m here..
hmm.... todae i went for early lunch and late breakfast wif my frens ahhax....
and i had the most interesting dream ever to dae...
too bad cant share it on the blog AHAHHAHAHA....
OH OK THATS EVIL...WELL I DUN CALL MYSELF R FACTOR FOR NOTHING RITE....
HAHAX...
OK BYE.....

2006-05-15T01:57:00.000-07:00

hey hi...
once again we meet...
todae its like the best dae...
i watch tv from 11.30 to 4.30...
wow.......
i was like....
aras won survivor.....
and i hope the hippies won the amazing race.....
finally mojo is out....
hahhahax....
this may sound evil...
cant wait for DA VINCI CODE to come out in cinemas......
two more papers and i m out of exam mood....
hahax....

2006-05-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

erm me on the train back to singapore..
all the way from taman negara....
on 17 march 2006.. its kind of late hahax..

the death i brought upon

2006-05-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

11 may 2006

Today I got the truth and nothing but the truth…
I noe I m wrong and will always be at the wrong…
I have been keeping this to myself and look wat I have done.
I m such a mess look wat I have done..
I knew it and I just keep it in my damn heart..
I cant blame others..
This whole even has just came to conclusion that the R Factor is the one that make it happen..
Belive it or not…
In every thing that happen in our life there’s a constant.. and this constant for wat happen is the r factor…. It’s a thing that no 1 can run away..
The costant will always there it will not change as it is the costant..
Now for 1 thing for sure the r factor will go away from those life who have touch this r factor which is the red blooded roses on the coffin door and just brought in all the deaths in this world that we live in..
How this thing will go away onli the r factor noe it which is the r factor will take a step back and sae gd bye to the deaths he has caused…
This is the best thing that I can do
Give and take is wat I shld have done …
Without me u guys would have a better life
I m just this selfish BITCH
Sorry ppl….
Thast it for now. ……………………….
tHERE WILL BE NO DEATHS FROM NOW ON>>>>>