the fasting month

i am grateful that i am still alive to witness again the month of Ramadan also known as the fasting month. this is the month where all the Muslims in the world fast for a whole month.
.the whole idea of this month is to let us be aware of the suffering others face especially those in poverty hit countries and also to show how grateful we are that we are blessed with all the necessities that we have. this month also is the month all about sacrificing. as Muslims, we must a sacrifice our time to do additional prayer such as the tarawih prayers. sacrifice the food that we can eat in daytime. sacrifice our sexual pleasures.
this year i hope that i can be a good Muslim by doing all the things that i should do as a Muslim during the fasting month which means minimal swearing, less eating, less procrastinating in term of prayers time, do more charity be nice to people and not to forget paying a very close attention to my studies. yes studies even that is counted as being a good Muslim.

As usual, as the month of Ramadan approaches, i can feel the freshness in the air, the enlightenment, the willpower to do good, to study and to perform my prayers with more concentration.
hopefully god will give me the strength for me to perform whatever HE(god) ask me to and concentrate on my studies..

prelims OVER and A levels next

yeah finally prelims are over and it sucks coz it is obvious that i did very very bad for prelims no matter how hard i slog it out for my prelims
ok i think i deserve the grades coz the amount of energy and effort to prepare for prelims is like hmm 60% to 75%..
but still at least a pass..
haha but yeah lots of things happen during my prelims which contributes to the grades lah
this is not an excuse peeps
no 1 its distraction all over the place no2 i have anxiety attack for most of the papers ok
i see my maths paper and physics paper i got stressed up and in the end aku kelam kabut ah buat paper so end up i do stupid mistake very stupid ah i tell you so when going through the damn paper it is HEARTACHE everywhere ergh
and yeah ruzzy is a damn emotional person and he is full of jealousy
so when he sees his friends getting better grades than him, he feel so bitter coz he always wants to be on the same par as them if not better but in this case it is not happening..
so much for kicking asses in the end i got my own ass kicked hard
and Wednesday was a very depressing day for me why? i got back two major papers that i took and both is a damn U lah so got depressed and end up binching on FOOD!!
it feels good but yeah it sucks when your friends are doing much better than you

so i have to work hard from now on and no more blogging
so i will write what happens in my life in my favourite blue OBS note book which has become my life journal
goodbye my blog for now i will miss you lols!!

anxiety attack!!!

god i m suffering from anxiety attack from like what yesterday
i cant sleep early to prep for my paper the next day as a result i was a bit tired to do my math paper today and that result in a shitty performance seriously that paper was do-able but i m under superbly stress condition when i was doing the math paper
even before the paper my heart cant stop beating furiously fast
it is funny coz the first week of prelims i was calm and i manage to do most of the first week papers maybe an exception for maths paper1..
yes math has become a huge barrier to boost my confidence
even my dad says if u dun have the confidence to do the paper there is no way u can get a good grades
with that i become more stress!!!!! i cant find that spot in my soul where it is all calm and quiet and at peace
my soul is having a war now!! it is a toatal chaos in me!! ERGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
during srtessful papers my mind will always wonder i will keep asking myself if my friend will be able to do the paper well and yeah that pushes me on to solve the qns but i m not at a calm mode so it is not that helpful either
why!!! i m feeling so nervous!! tomorrow is physics paper2 and i hope i can bring it!!
i know that i have to do well
ergh RUZ!!! stop it just calm urself down and do ur best!! like what u have always said just give in ur 110 percent and at the end of the day it is up to the judges to fail you or pass you u know u have put in ur very best to study and really understand the concepts dun have to worry what happen later just do the god damn paper with a calm soul will you!!

goodbye

it is time a bid goodbye to my blog
since i only have 10 more freaking days to my prelim exams
well maybe i dont have to depart from it for good
because blogging is a stress reliever mechanism
so if u see a new blog post after today that mean i m stressed up from mugging!!
well i hope to get all C grades for prelims no matter what so yeah C grade here i come
i need to kick lots of asses for prelims lah
there is a number of people i want to kick their ass
here are the list of people and the subjects that i have to kick ass!!
General Paper - Haziq Jani
Biology - Jun Xiang
Malay Lit - the class girls
Physics- Helmi Sani/ Fahmi
Mathematics - Fahmi, Chen Li
maybe i should bid goodbye to my friends too..erm maybe not because i still need them!!

my wish

i wish

for a world which coexist

in its complexity and simplicity

a world where life is as easy as it seems

i wish

for world peace

where aggression doesnt exist

everyone live in harmony

sharing fruits of success

i wish

for a world where the 7 sins

are absent

for greed overule us

i wish

that you do not exist

life will be simpler

i can stop thinking about you

every minute second hour day week month year

i wish

that i never have to know you

knowing you

makes my life harder

i cant decide what to do

in the midst of all this

i realise

complexity is simplicity

the complex can be simple as it seems

simple things can be complex

technology may seem to make it simple

it only makes things complicated

ship all the wealthy

to an island for they can exist

and let us live in peace

only then we can prosper

and live in a pace where

we can enjoy life as it is