that RAYA post hehhe

after 1 mth of fasting in the mth if ramadhan, the mth of syawal is finally here..
this year raye is a bit different. dearest nenek accept my dads offer to celebrate raye with us this year round.. so firts day did'nt go out the whole day..sambut tetamu/entertain guest.. so a bit relax lah quite fun alos get to meet all the cousin from my dad side .. the guys most of us in NS now so confirm topic of the day was all abt ARMY and comparing coys...
morning ask from forgiveness from dad, mum , nenek, and my sisters
then receive guests frommy dad side and then after that once it is all done LEPAK!!! hahaha
second day was with my MUM side lah hehe uber fun lah get to meet all of them and we celebrate my niece birthday, Sophia Lim she turns 10 this year.. ok still youung but hey i wish her all the best in life coz its not easy or tough haha
went to oe of my couzins place and he got PS3 and the whole set of guitar hero world tour..
all jump to the chance to play guitar hero even my dad... he is supe good in playing the drums lah .. shall ask my dad to sponsor part of the cost to gte myself the PS3 and the whole guitar hereo set since he can also play in the weekends lah hehe...rock on DAD.. hehe
and the rest of the days was filled with more more laughters... and not to forget our routine jumpshots at a particular makciks house lah only there we will do our jump shots haha
ok photos are available at my FB lah heh lazy to upload...

to all the muslims in the world in particular my friends and relatives
SELEMAT HARI RAYE MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN
IF I HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG PLEASE FORGIVE ME OK...
cheerios!!!

dead and gone

the ramadhan is here and i m not making progress to be a gd musslim this year
ok lets just put that a side do not want to talk abt it again and again

well the resaon why i decided to write this post because something happen
well herre is the timeline
1300 meet with ridhwan friend about this particular business opportunity
1400 meet mitchell and joel (bmt mates)
1430 the meeting ended supposed to end at 1330 to 1345
1500 finally meet up with mitch and joel (1 hour late)
1800 meet BMC mates for iftar
1900 break fast time zone, just finish my meet up with BMT mates due to an hour late earlier
2000 finally reach simpang bedok so i was 1 hr late to buke with them
2100 meet helmi at geylang to find baju kurung
2200 just reach geylang from the meet up with BMC mates
yeah so i was late for every meet ups i made with my 3 grp of frens
poor time management and yeah as a result people have to wait for me
and its always they wait for me not the other way round

Helmi have to wait for me for like more an hour or so alone at geylang while waiting for maddie to tag along. the plan is to meet up with helmi first walk arnd to wait for madhiah to reach geylang with her parents. but plans with ruz will nvr go as plan so yeah i admit it i screwed up!! trying to squeeze this beautiful saturday to meet up with 4 different group of people that i rarely meet and as a result people have to suffer.

To all my friends especially Helmi,Mitchell, Joel, Haadi, Syafiq, Farid, Hilmi sorry for making u guys wait for me. i guess i m not that a good fren huh making people wait only. i guess i m trying to hard to accomadate to everyone. i learn a very important lesson and its not abt coming on time i learn that already 2 years back. its abt making gd judgement and good managment of time
Good Judgement:
i was hesitant to leave Mitch and Joel have way thru our meet up even though i know i will be late for the iftar i still decide to catch a movie with them at 5. IDK i was like erm i dun want to leave coz its been months since we meet and its very rare since everyoone schedule is fucked up and when we meet its only a few hrs..
then the meet ups with BMC peeps.. well same thing happen i decided to stay awhile longer and helmi have to wait so yeah everything snowballed and i was in shits coz of my poor judgement and making decission..
i dont blame anyone for what happen and i am cool that those affected are angry with me they have every right to feel that way
SORRY GUYS!!!


"next time don't do it again ok Ruz..." ruzaini pathetically trying to make himself feel a bit better pathetic much huh..

jealous yet happy?

i am jealous yet happy?

what kind of feeling is that? what kind of person am i? am i so confused or what huh?

i don't know somehow i feel these way ,jealous about someone or something but then i feel happy for them for being able to achieve that(whatever i m jealous of).

well i m a very jelaous person, if ppl read in my super old entries, i will always want what others get. Awesome grades, fantastic life, bestest friends, privelleges at their fingertips and many more.

so i decided to type down what i feel deep inside.

yes the truth that has been hiding in me i m VERY JEALOUS of my Friends!!

there i have said it.. BUT... at the same time i am very happy for in whatever i m jealous abt

i guess i m those kind of person who is very hungry aye.. i will never be satisfied with what i have and will always want to be the same or on par with them arh..

is that good or bad eh? being competitive and all but is that kind of attitude even appropriate at all times? but then again when i question myself why i was never better or same as them and i found the reason why. i did not go all out to achieve that something arh. things that my friends are working on.. i procrastinate, i am timid i did not dare to take chances, make decissions that takes forever, always on the safe side and not on the road less travelled by,not garang enough...

and the reason why i am happy is because i saw in their every faces the joy of acheiving what they fight for, i realise that hey if i dun get it at least my freinds do and i at least know what it feels like to be what they are and what i am not that makes me happy. their joy and thus even if i am jealous there is no hatred but rather a drive for me to go all out and work hard to achieve better things in the future...

ruz you can do it

after 1 year and i am back

well it has been 1 year and a lot has happen to me lately

FIRSTLY A LEVEL IS SO OVER LAH HAHA

so happy can heheh and i already gotten back my results it is not fantastic but it is gd enough for me to be accepted to my dream course NURSING at NUS and i will be studying there in 2011 cant wait this bring me to the second point...

SECONDLY I AM OFFICIALLY SERVING THE COUNTRY!!!

i cant say much but it has been a pleasure serving the country for 8 months now. while some may say that it is a total waste of time but actually it is not.. it is the period for you to discover one's ability,talent,character, strength and weakness. i must say i was one of them who thinks that it is a waste of time but after going through it i realise how important for a Singaporean to defend it's own LAND... though i was dissapointed not selected for further leadership trg SISPEC/OCS it was my fault not trg hard enuf but then i m glad of my vocation now.

THIRDLY, IT IS THE RAMADHAN MONTH ONCE AGAIN..more post on that when it actaully starts lah eh..

FOURTHLY, MY EMOTIONS

lets just say this past few weeks or past few days i had a lot of reflectus moments.

1. i realise i find happiness in people that i treasure most my loved ones, my friends.

i am very happy when my friends are happy. happy that they finally find someone they love and their love return back to them. happy that they get what they want, happy that they finally get into UNI, happy that they are just happy, happy that they find peace in their life , happy that they have someone to talk to...

ohyah that reminds me.. HELMI AND MADHIAH congrats on getting together happy that u guys are happy together..and to my first SIS who finally got married to her loving HUSBAND. this i m superly happy about... happily married after 7 years of getting to know each other..

2. i wonder if i can give that same level of happiness to them? surely i think i have but then.. i doubt that i can give so much happiness to that someone special in the future. will i be like those lovey dovey couple ..whispering sweet nothings on way back home.. with conversations that make the other party feel the warmth the presence of another someone talking and listening to you that makes you feel so belong to someone...

3. i have been a neglecting on my religion.well lets just say i havent been a good boy and yeah i guess i got drifted away from reality of who am i and my commitment to my religion. so immersed in the material world that i forgot that i have a higher being to pay my respect to to serve him(Allah) it is about time that i stay rooted to the ground and pay more attention to him

4.i have been going out a lot and yeah i miss spending time with my family

5.i realise that i m not ready to be in a relationship lets just say not in another 2 or 3 years time

i still need to find and understand myself before i can understand someone else so that i can give what i noted in point 1 ad 2....

its has been a lovely year and i hope it will stay that way...

oh yah FAHMI is flying off to BRUNEI for 1 year i will miss him a lot

LIM JING FENG is flying there too also but god knows when

TAN SZE HERNG is flying off to thailand today

SHAUN my sec sch bestie is also flying there to serve the country i will miss them a lot
as for me i will still be here serving the nation though i hope that will be given the oppurtunity to better serve my country...

song of the day, merindu kepastian by art fazil